Thursday, December 17, 2009


LRU (Least Recently Used) is an algorithm in Computer Science used in many places. We were interviewing a candidate for a development position. My colleague quizzed the girl sitting across the table.

“Ok, what is the Least Recently Used algorithm?”

Immediately came the reply, “The algorithm which I have used least recently is … blah blah blah”

We didn’t know what to ask next.

Sunday, December 13, 2009


Priyanka Chopra had a haircut and it made news. I kept a small beard on the chin. I thought I was looking super cool and wanted to exhibit myself to my girlfriend. I was scolded for being in hurry and not shaving properly. Girls think so differently. That’s why I respect them so much. Later, Amir Khan did the same and got free prime airtime on all the TV channels.

I was walking down an empty street. I know brother, it’s a song. But you don’t be scared. I won’t sing it all.

Moving ahead. I was walking down an empty street. What u said? I started again? Ab tu beech main mat bol, mujhe aage badhne de.

So, I walked down … okie, moving. Suddenly a ball dropped in-front of me. What you said? From where did it drop? Abbey failure, padha nahin kya about gravitational pull? Koi cheez kahan se girti hai? Upar se hi na?

I looked around above. A few kids were playing cricket on the terrace of their house (I don’t know about the house, it might have been their neighbor’s also. If you need exact details, then mail me on my personal email id). Before they have said anything, I started bending down to pick the ball and throw it back to them. But just before I could have touched the ball, someone from those kids shouted, “Uncle, ball de dena”.

I got straight again and walked down the empty street. I mean, man I had just joined college and was in my first year. I know that you know that a new joined will be in first year only and not in second year. Patience man, let me create a little suspense, melodrama and confusion. That time was a perfectly legal age for a more polite name. Who says things look smaller from above? They made uncle out of a brother.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Bachpan ke Confusion

(Stay away from three things)

Teen cheezon se khud ko door rakho:

· Kaam

· Krodh

· … (I don’t remember this third one, and it is not significant for the purpose of this post)

The first time I have read this graffiti on the wall of a British Raj school, I was very glad. I need not have mentioned what was the age of that school; that’s not important, but who said I write any important things on this blog? Anyways, someone supported me in staying away from work. So the next time my uncle asked me to bring something from market I recited him my new learned mantra. He looked at me in a strange way as all those about to be assaulted women in Bollywood flicks looked at Shakti Kapoor and Ranjeet. I thought he was amazed at my profound knowledge. I grinned at him and immediately got a kick on my butt. He had behaved really weird. A saying on a school wall is as sacred as hymns written on temple walls. Why was I rebuked for saying it took a long time for me to grasp. (for angrezi people; work is kaam in hindi, and in english kaam means seduction).

Early episodes of epic serials have always roped in this belief that a certain God raises his hands and kids sprouted out of nothing. This was quite a simple process and it didn’t need any human effort. Later I heard of a certain story in which a lady traps a God into returning him her husband when the God had given her the blessing of a kid. Now my understanding was questioned and when I asked this question to the fellow pupils and friends, I was subjected to more confusion. It took a lot of time for all that confusion to wear off.

Finally, I came in high school and was introduced to the wonderful subject of biology. There I learned about reproduction and I remember it was the tenth chapter in the text book. I never read beyond it. I was not alone. The whole class refused to go any further. Even the most reticent students found themselves engaged in fierce discussion, debates and arguments. Everyone enjoyed the topic. One more thing; reproduction in botany was totally ignored. After all, we all were humans and to think about humans was our first duty. Although I have written the previous sentence in past tense, we still are humans and to think about humans is still our first priority, though today we have become a little gender biased. And yes, everyone has his own bias.