Beep …beep… a sms on my mobile. ‘shaadi ho rahi teri’.
me too was very glad to hear that I was getting married. I got up from my system, congratulated myself and broke the news to a few close friends. Badhai ka mausam came. And kisi ne unka naam poocha. I coyed a little, creating an atmosphere of suspense in which I would tell these mortals the name of that angel. But oye, even I don’t know the name. when suddenly the reality struck me. someone insisted, but abey naam to mujhe waqai nahin pata. Who knows before me that I am getting married.
Certainly, the message was not from my mom-dad. Shaadi ko leke am not so frustrated that they have to address me like that and have to break the news over sms. And definetly it was not God, I don’t know if Reliance has put a tower in heavens too or Nokia has setup shops there. Anyways, pehle to aakashwani hoti thi. Kalyug hai, but still, God has other stronger means to be heard.
I asked the wedding party that was fuming up around me (because I have told them so late about my marriage) to cool down and checked the message again. Then I understood that it was not an assertive statement. Indeed it was a question. People still behave like class two boys, fooling around with punctuation marks. Question mark missing. Don’t message on an empty stomach. I know, old joke, but universal truth hai. Needs to be keep reinforced. Ek to waise hi short message, usme bhi why do you have to miss the necessary ingridients? am I supposed to read the message or play Da Vinchi Code with it? Yeah yeah, I know you too use No Marks to rub the scars off your face, thought it is meant to wipe some other hangover, but bro spill some marks where they are needed.
Anyways, I didn’t put much attention into why this guys was so shocked hearing the news of my marriage as if I have broken his heart and have proposed someone else. And if he was, I am better a bit distanced from him. Though who might have spread this rumour about my marriage interested me a little. Ma pa, jaldi se shaadi kara do meri. If not me, then my friends are getting impatient of waiting for the good news. Look, they are having delusions and shocks!!
I too felt a little bad because of the false rumours on this sensitive issue, but consoled myself off the thought that, chalo babu, koi ni, you saved some bucks. Otherwise, these guys dancing around you were not discussing your wedding present, but were looking up that most princely restaurant in Gurgaon deciding the menu based on the reversed Big Bazaar motto that – sabse mehnga, sabse accha.
This sms guy caught me on chat a few days later. He was still furious.
Guy: ‘you didn’t told me you are getting married?’.
Me: ‘where did you got the news from?’.
(I could be very argumentative at times. A simple NO, AM NOT would have ended the chat then and there, but as I said before, I too was keen on knowing the sources.)
That question from me raised more doubts in him about my marriage. He might had been a little skeptic, now he would completely disbelieve me whatever I tell. Either a yes/no would count as a wrong answer. I am in a predicament now.
Guy: ‘tell me, is it true?’.
Me: ‘No you tell me, who gave you the news?’
Guy: ‘its someone I cant reveal, but you must have told me.’
Me: ‘I would, but who is that someone whom you can not reveal, but he certainly knows a lot about me’
Guy: ‘I have promised, I wont tell you about him’
This is now getting cheaper than a melodramatic scene from a bollywood movie. Nahin, kabhi mat batana, kasam mat todna, chahe dosti toot jaye …
Me: ‘ok, if he knows so much about me, trust him only.’
Guy: ‘I want to hear it from you.’
Emotional blackmail ab, sounds like the heroine who has just heard that the hero is dating some other hot chic. Am enjoying it now.
Me: ‘nahi bhai, you cant tell me who is discussing my life, I cant tell you anything now’
(some more dhan te nan goes on …. )
Guy: ‘okie, live your life, you don’t care for good friends. You have not told me. still I am wishing you a happy married life’.
Bang … this guy logged out.
Final break up. Climax. Girl and boy seperated. Not a happy cool ending. But emotionally paisa vasool …!